Good morning! We’re having a beautiful, sunny but cool Sunday morning. We may have guests for lunch, but won’t know for another few minutes so I’ll zip y’all a note until I know for sure.
We’re now on day 28 of our fast, which means we have less than two weeks left. We are still experiencing ups and downs. Every day is different. It was interesting to me how (for me) Satan changed his tactics once I had reached half-way. Before, the temptations were because of cravings; I just longed so very much to taste all those delicious things that were popping up everywhere (even in dreams sometimes!!). But then at the half-way mark, my whole attitude changed; I felt like I could actually make it to the end of the fast. I suddenly had more days behind me than I had ahead of me, and that was incredibly encouraging. Sure, food still appealed to me, but I felt empowered to set aside my cravings. So Satan changed his tactics. More recently I have felt tempted to quit fasting because I wasn’t craving anything, so in a sense, I had “conquered” the fast – it was no longer a challenge to not eat, so I must be done. I could almost hear Satan whispering, “You’ve gotten all that you can out of not eating. You’re used to it, so the effect is gone. You may as well eat again. Besides, you can pray while eating. What’s the difference?”
Other days I’ve been almost consumed with thoughts of what to cook when we’re done. I’m not craving the food – and that’s true -- but I’m “planning ahead,” Satan tells me. And I end up spending much too much time thinking about the end rather than spending time feasting on God’s presence.
But God can still break through. Thank you LORD, for not giving up on me! Yesterday I was looking up recipes online (for the end of the fast!) and one recipe I pulled up was from a seven-year-old newsletter from the Association of Christian Chefs! The Holy Spirit used the introduction of that newsletter to convict me of my negligence and misplaced priorities. I spent lots of time this morning recording verses in my notebook so I can memorize them and be armed for when Satan begins whispering again.
Family Update
I said last week I would send you an update of our family. Things are going well for us. We are still adjusting to having Angela live with us, but overall the adjustment has been smooth. I just told Kyle the other day, she’s been with us for just over two months now, but I still feel like we have a guest in our home, rather than another family member. That will come with time, I’m sure.
Angela seems to be enjoying her time with us, though we are much stricter than she is used to. She was especially surprised at our bedtimes. She must be in bed by 9:00 pm on school nights – 8:30 if possible. She thinks that’s too early for a 12 year old, but admits that even with the early bedtime she has trouble getting up at 6:45 in the morning, so she no longer argues! She has also had to adjust to our American food; she eats well, so I know when she doesn’t finish her plate, it means it’s a dish she doesn’t like!
Angela’s a sweet girl who loves to play with Rebekah and Kiki, our neighbor (Jovanka’s daughter). This has actually turned out to be somewhat of a problem: she only wants to play! She is in 7th grade and has twelve subjects: physics, chemistry, math, biology, English, German, Macedonian, music, phys. ed., civics, history and art. As you can see, Macedonian schools work the kids hard! However, apparently, village schools don’t require as much of the kids as her new school here in the capital city – or perhaps villagers see little need for education, since most live off the land. Angela’s grades from the village were okay but she has started the year well behind the other students, especially in math, which also affects physics and chemistry. Right now, Macedonian law requires children to finish eighth grade; if things continue as they are, she will have quite a struggle to do that, and in all likelihood, that’s as far as she’ll go. Please pray for her to want to study – she doesn’t seem to understand the connection between studying now and getting a good job in the future. Right now we have her spending about two hours each day reviewing what she had in class that day. Pray that she understands the value in that!
------------------------------------ News Brief: our friends called and I had 80 minutes to make lunch – so this letter was abandoned and now it’s Monday! --------------------------------
We’ve also had a small problem with lying. We actually expected it to be much worse since Angela came from a broken home, so it’s nice it has only happened a few times. She also sometimes acts like she doesn’t hear or understand us or like she has no memory of a conversation we just had minutes before. (This seems to frustrate not only us, but also Rebekah as she watches it unfold before her!) We’re pretty sure this is a defense mechanism, to avoid responsibility for doing (or not doing) something. We feel like we’re dealing with these issues appropriately, but sometimes our hearts become hardened and we find little love for her in our hearts. Pray for us in that.
Our children have adjusted well to Angela, though Daniel prays almost every night for Angela to be able to return to her family – I’m not sure if that’s for her sake or his: she hugs and kisses him much more than he’d like!!! Joshua is doing fine with Angela; he spends much of his after-school time practicing basketball. Any stress at having an extra person in the house usually only shows up at bedtime – when everyone is tired and a little grouchy anyway!
Rebekah enjoys Angela very much, but their personalities are very different. Rebekah is quiet and loves having friends over . . . but, because she’s introverted, she also enjoys playing alone. Angela, on the other hand, cannot stand to be alone – for anything. If Rebekah gets up to go in another room, Angela always goes looking for her a moment later. Rebekah is struggling with being a good friend and also taking the time she needs to be alone to recharge. One great blessing of this school year is that Rebekah goes to school during the second shift; that is, Angela goes to school at 7:30 am and Rebekah goes to school at 1:00 pm. This is a good year for the different shifts so Rebekah can have some alone-time every morning.
Another challenge for Rebekah is that Angela speaks almost no English so Rebekah is her 24-hour translator – and that’s exhausting work!!! If they watch an American movie, Rebekah has to translate every few sentences. We’ve signed Angela up for private English lessons, and of course, she’s taking it at school – but I’ve already mentioned how she feels about studying, and that includes English. There’s one more thing that Rebekah struggles with: Angela came to us with very little, so Rebekah has had to share everything with her. That was fun at first, but because Angela came with so few clothes, I have had to pull out some of the clothes that I originally bought in America for Rebekah to grow into. I’ve tried not to do that much but sometimes I’ve had to. Rebekah is very generous, but I know she’s disappointed when I pull out something new that was intended for her.
Rebekah tends to hold things inside until she bursts into tears over nothing. We’re trying to spend extra time with her to talk through things before there are problems. Pray that we will be wise and that Rebekah will be strong, generous, kind, loving and honest – whatever is called for at the moment!
Macedonian Friends
Thank you for continuing to pray for Trenda, the lady who was babysitting next door. She called this afternoon and said her apartment has still not sold. I promised to continue to pray for her. Please continue to pray for her apartment to be sold so she can buy a cheaper place and use the money to pay her debts. She also needs to find a job closer to home so she can walk rather than pay bus tickets. Pray especially that she would yearn to know Jesus, and seek the peace that she said she felt when we prayed together.
Vale is the woman at the gift shop that we prayed for on September 11. Some of you may have heard me share about her: she is the one to whom I’ve witnessed for years and she always asks me to explain passages in the Bible to her. Then she did not come to our Bible study because she had an appointment with her bio-energy advisor (this is a new age guru who helps you channel your body’s positive energy so you’ll prosper, etc.). I visited her twice last week, and Kyle gave her a copy of The Purpose Driven Life. She had recently spent the night at a monastery “for good health and good luck” and saw my visit as a sign that luck was on her side! The second visit I was able to speak more boldly than usual. She asked if the other people in our church were filled with joy and peace like she saw in Kyle and me. She highly praised Purpose Driven Life so I invited her to join our discussion group on Thursday nights. She said she really wants to come but couldn’t that week because she already had two invitations anyway and didn’t know what to choose. I told her that she would always have other options because Satan did not want her to come and that if she really wanted to come, she would have to CHOOSE to come, despite other invitations. She agreed and said she’d come this Thursday. PLEASE pray for her to come, and pray that she would have ears to hear the Holy Spirit speak to her.
General
Please continue to pray for the Macedonian people to awaken to God’s holiness, to their own sin, to God’s grace and provision through Jesus’ death, and to the hope offered by Jesus’ resurrection. Only the Holy Spirit can soften their hearts and prepare them to receive the Word; pray that we will walk so closely to him that we hear and obey when he sends us out to sow seed and gather the harvest. Pray that each day we speak more boldly. “His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.” (Jeremiah 20:9)
Please keep praying for our team’s perseverance and faithfulness to our fast – and especially our faithfulness to pursue God. Please also keep praying for us to hear as the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin in our own lives. I am only now understanding that answering the call to follow Christ is answering the call to change. He takes me “Just as I am” and molds me into someone much better – and the bruises only last for a short while! The plans he has for us are so much better than we could ever imagine!
I can’t express to you how much we need your prayers and encouraging notes. Thank you for remembering us and our friends here.
Love, Jackie
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